The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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