Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
