Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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