I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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