the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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