How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
