I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
