this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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