Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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