Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize