Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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