After last night, I could never be a politician.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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