Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
