I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
