just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
