I love black thongs
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
