Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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