I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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