since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
