I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
