he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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