apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
