Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
