Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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