its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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