apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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