This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Panties = found
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
