I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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