your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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