I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
