You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
