I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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