I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
