I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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