So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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