I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
