Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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