I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
