i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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