ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
