hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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