can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
