Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just pee around me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
