do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
