that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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