It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
pray to the hookup gods
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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