I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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