how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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