first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
