So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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