They should really pass out barf bags in church
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
