And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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