I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
